So here’s a story to help sway you towards not moving your conversation to text before you’ve fully ruled out that the person is either a total psycho, stage 5 clinger or both.
After exchanging a few casual messages with a guy on OKCupid who looked cute, seemed cool, and was easy to talk to from what I could tell, he sent me his number and said to text him anytime. I was feeling semi-weary about him already because he had a town listed on his profile (Arlington) which was much closer to DC than where he actually lived (Glen Burnie, MD). He said he stayed with a friend in the town he had posted several days a week, but dude, that’s not where you live and not what you should have your location posted as on a dating site.
So, against my better judgement, I texted him later that evening per his request and our conversation went exactly like this:
- Me: Heya, this is Beth from OKC.
- Him: ?
- Him: DC lol
- Me: OKC as in OKCupid haha
- Him: Ha ha yo rock
- Him: Your my only Beth
- Me: Ha well I don’t know. What are you up to tonight?
- Him: Lol drinking with cousins. NUTS
- Him: What you doing???
- You pass out lol
Yes, I did pass out. It was late and I was tired, so I didn’t respond to that last string of messages when I woke up. So then the day’s communication goes like this.
- Him: 9:58am: Hey! Morning!
- Him: 1:35pm: You alive??
- Me: 2:03pm: Haha yes. Busy day sorry.
- Him: 2:04pm: Lol don’t be.
So at this point I’m already like ok dude, calm down. We haven’t talked on the phone much less met in person yet, so take it easy with the “you alive??” stuff. I’m allowed to not respond to you for a few hours, or even a few days at this point, without you worrying that I am dead. Little did I know that would be my last text back to him, as the conversation quickly went from that to the next level.
Later that day:
- Him: 3:41pm: I’ll keep off OKC out of respect to you. I’m weird/old school like that
- Him: 7:01pm: Have a great night! Be safe
Ummm what?? You’re going to get off the dating site that we found each other on before we’ve even met or spoken on the phone? Because you’re old school? Please stay on it. Please. Again, no response from me.
Then, the next day:
- Him: 1:37pm: Happy new year!
Nothing from me. And again the next:
- Him: 3:58pm: Made it back to MD in one piece
- Him: 6:25pm: Random question, have you ever seen Shear Madness?
Nothing. And then today:
- Him: 5:04pm: Be safe in this winter crap!
So that would mean 7 texts from him in a row spread over 4 days with no response from me. I thought for sure that would be the end of our communication, but he did not want to give up.
The next day:
- Him: Did you die? Go into hiding??
He took the next day off, but two days later I got:
- Him: Are you watching the Packers game later?
Apparently he figured out I was not in fact dead. I guess at this point he decided he would have to look into alternate ways of getting in touch, because he went back to OKCupid and sent me a message from there when I wasn’t responding to the texts. I got the notification on my phone, and I was like “Hmm this name looks familiar…” and then I realized it was DGaHG!
- “I hope all is well!!”
At this point, I actually started to feel some sympathy towards him. It’s obvious he means well, but is absolutely clueless. Once he had tried all the texts and then back to OKC, I was sure I’d be in the clear, but not so. The next day, he was back to text.
- Him: “What’s new??”
I finally realized it was never going to end unless I said something. So I reverted to a tried and tested method by saying:
- Me: Hey DGaHG… Listen, sorry I’ve been non responsive. I started seeing someone and so I am going to see where that goes and not date other people. Good luck to you!
And I’m so glad I sent that, because his response to it was the best part of the whole thing.
- Him: No problem lol! Be safe
- Him: Your honesty is respectable. It’s a rare thing