OKCupid was the first online dating site I tried. I whipped up a quick profile, not knowing that creating a username with your first and last name wasn’t the best idea for anonymity. Before too long, I got a message from a guy who’s profile seemed to meet my first set of requirements – funny, tall, and attractive.
After a few messages back and forth, we moved our communication over to gmail and made plans for Sunday brunch. I remember feeling so mature for having a brunch date rather than a night out at the bar. I was both excited and nervous, but mostly nervous. Would he think I was cute? Would I be super awkward? Would conversation flow easy? It’s funny that most of my concerns were about myself going into the date.
The Friday night before our scheduled brunch, I was out for a few drinks with one of my girlfriends when my phone went off. It was Second Date Stud (SDS), and he asked if by any chance I was free for drinks that night because he had just gotten finished with drinks with his coworkers and found himself free on a Friday night. My friend had other plans after our drinks, so after those two glasses of wine, meeting up for more drinks with SDS that night sounded like a great idea.
We made plans with where to meet and before I knew what was happening, I was looking at SDS on the street outside the bar we picked. As soon as we exchanged words, I found out what his profile did not tell – he had a stutter. Not ideal, but I could handle it. So we walked into the bar and sat down at a table.
The bartender came over to offer us drinks and we each ordered a beer. When she brought the drinks back to our table, she asked if she could have a card to start a tab. SDS didn’t even pretend to reach for his wallet, so I went ahead and handed her my card. I don’t have a problem with paying or splitting the bill, but at least make an effort to reach for your wallet.
The awkward conversation that followed consisted of SDS talking nonstop about himself and not taking a break to ask me any questions about myself. I literally had to cut him off to get a word in edgewise, and as I was sitting there, I realized – you know what? I can hold a conversation, I was less awkward in person than I expected, and that just by being cool and normal I was miles ahead of this guy. One of my favorite telling parts of the conversation was when I asked him if he’d done a lot of online dating, and he told me that he had had a ton of first dates, but almost no second dates. Odd.
After the beer, SDS wanted to get a second drink, but I was just not into it so I said I had to get up early the next day and that we should just call it a night. The bartender came over and we asked for our tab, and as I was paying for both my beer and his, he huddled over the bill and said…
“Well now we HAVE to go on a second date since you paid for this one!” Is that how you think it works, buddy?
We parted ways with a really awkward and rigid hug, and before I took two steps in the opposite direction, I had a text from him. And then another. And another. Saying all the activities he wanted to do together the next day, and that he couldn’t wait for brunch on Sunday. Was he on a different date than I was? Did he really think that there was chemistry and that we’d be going out again?
The next morning, I had a total of 7 texts from him since the night before. I decided to respond bluntly, like my profile claimed I was. “Hi SDS. It was great meeting you, but I just didn’t feel any in person chemistry. Good luck.”
Hopefully since then he’s come up with a different tactic for securing date number two.